listen:
Everything changed after the aliens landed.
You couldn’t trust anyone, not even your own family, once we realised that they were manipulating humans using mind control. It was quite by accident that I found out brain freeze could block the telepathic waves. I’ve learned to love the pain of frozen margaritas, which is good news.
The bad news is, I’m too drunk to walk and this bar just ran out of tequila.
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